All out of ideas about what to blog about, I took to the Twitterverse and took suggestions. One of the suggestions was, ‘Where do you see yourself in 5 years?’ and I love this question. Especially because I’ve just made a major life decision. But first lets quickly talk about Bipolar, commitments, and decisions.
Sometimes with Bipolar it’s hard to know if a decision is made as a sound, sane decision or if mania is making it for you. And honestly it’s hard to tell sometimes. I mean when I’m manic I take up all sorts of hobbies and interests, it’s just what I do. And then there’s commitments. It’s really hard to make commitments when you have Bipolar because you just don’t know where your heads going to be at, 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 weeks, 5 months, 5 years from now. You just don’t know, and that makes it hard to commit.
Now having said all of that are you ready to hear what my commitment and major life decision is??? I’ve decided to study nursing. I’m going to be a nurse. I smile every time I say it. I’m going to be a nurse. But how do I know that it wasn’t mania making my decisions for me on a whim? Because 7 years ago, before I moved to the US I had the same goal, I wanted to be a nurse. That counts for something right?
Now I do have a couple obstacles in my way. I never finished high school so I have to do a certificate III before I can start the nursing course. But that’s not horrible, I’m going to do it in aged care. The second and most important obstacle is I have to meet with and be assessed by Centrelink so that they can decide if I can do the course and keep my disability payments. Because I really need to keep my disability payments coming in. But no matter what happens I will find a way around it because dammit, I’m going to be a nurse.
So, in 5 years time…….Well, it will take a couple of years to finish my courses. Then to find work. I guess in five years time I hope to be working as a nurse and living in a house in a nice town with my husband. As for my mental health, well, all I can say is that I hope it’s better, better than it is now. But those things are so hard to predict.