Other Specified Feeding or Eating Disorders. Is the new name for Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. But what is OSFED? It’s a combination of the following when you don’t quite fit into one box:
Binge Eating Disorder
Avoidant/ Restrictive Food Intake Disorder
Night Eating Syndrome
Me, personally, I have a combination of Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, and Avoidant/ Restictive Food Intake Disorder. But I’m in recovery. But what does recovery look like? It certainly isn’t easy and relapse is a constant shadow calling out.
At the height of my illness I was running 5-6 miles every night. I was consuming 20-30 diet pills a day couple with probiotics, diuretics, and a bunch of laxatives. I swear I almost shit my pants once. Too many laxatives.
I would do countless sit ups, hundreds. Whenever I was home alone I was always exercising. And I wouldn’t eat unless of had a cup of green tea first. Which brings us to eating. I wasn’t. I just wasn’t. But when ever I lost control and binged I would spend the next few hours hunched over the toilet trying to make myself throw it back up. And the weighing, oh the weighing! I would jump on and off if my scale so many times I probably weighed myself a hundred times a day. And I’m not even exaggerating.
Now that’s when my illness was at it’s worse two years ago. It’s been up and down since. It’s been a tough road. Right now I’m struggling. I skip most meals and I continually weigh myself. But it’s not bad like it used to be. There’s no diet pills and laxatives and I’m not binging and purging. Recovering from an eating disorder is a really rough process. It’s a along process. It’s not just physically that you need to recover but mentally as well which is the most important.
But recovery is possible I’m determined to recover from this. To live a life free of constantly thinking about food and weight. I’m determined.