I wake up and look at the time. I should have been up and taken my meds two hours ago. I get up and take my meds. A few hours later my phone makes a shaking sound, it’s time for my lunch time meds. That is my lunch. A couple of hours after that the familiar shaking sound again. More meds. Then eight o’clock rolls around, night time meds. This is my day. This has been my day for the past three years. My day is run by medications.
I have a gigantic pill organiser, every Saturday night is spent sorting pills. I can’t leave the house without first thinking about what pills I might need to take with me, what PRN’s I might need. I have half a pharmacy in my handbag. If I’m going to be out past a certain time of night I have to plan my night meds accordingly. If I’m staying over somewhere I have to make sure to pack the appropriate meds. My whole life is run by meds.
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind taking my meds. They’re what keeps me going most days. But man, is it a lot of work. It kind of takes over your life sometimes. I take 7 scheduled medications plus 2 PRN’s (as needed medications) that equals about 13-16 pills per day. On a bad day up to 20 pills a day. It’s not the most I’ve ever been on but it’s still a lot. It’s still enough that it impacts my life.
I’m 28 years old so you would think that I’m too young for so much medication right? Well Bipolar thinks otherwise. Bipolar thinks the more the merrier and I have to agree. Because I’ve never found just one medication that can fix everything, no, I need something for the depression, something for the mania, something for the anxiety, something for sleep, and something for the psychosis. There isn’t just one med out there to fix all of that. And that’s why I take so much. And that’s why meds can run my life.