The Love/ Hate Relationship With Meds

5 in the morning, 2 in the afternoon, 4 at night time, and up to 4 PRN’s. That’s what it takes to get me through the day. What about you? If you have Bipolar Disorder chances are that you know the importance of taking your medications regularly. Everyday. On time. Don’t miss a dose, oh no. That never turns out good. I once missed three doses of Valium and started to feeling manic in the middle of a Kmart. It did not feel good. Not at all. I had to hand all of my things over to my husband while I fished around in my purse for my emergency Ativan. I was then overly sedated for my case worker appointment which of course she happily pointed out to me.

Medicaton is the thing that we love to hate. It comes along with all sorts of fab side effects. Sarcasm. We’re all well aware of the weight gain that comes with antipsychotics. And the sedation. Then there’s the meds that come with hand tremors and restless legs. Numbness and tingling. Excesive thirst and binge eating. Some can make you depressed, some, manic.

But medication can also be a thing that we love. When it works. When we get past the side effects. I’ve been lucky, I’m on two antipsychotics, and haven’t gained any weight. I did however have a lot of eyesight problems with one of them and I have a horrible hand tremor. The eyesight kind of fixed itself thankfully. The hand tremor I’ve learnt to live with. But the benefits have far outweighed the negatives. I now rarely have hallucinations and I almost always now sleep through the night. And with my two mood stabilisers I’m mostly stable, just erring on the side of mania but hey, that’s better than than depression. Then there’s the two anti-anxieties, one is scheduled and one is a PRN between the two of them my anxiety is better, not great, but better. What else, what else,…..Oh! and the anti-depressant. Literally the only anti-depressant that I’ve ever been able to take. It’s an MAOI, it made me manic once but now they have me on a super low dose and I’ve been fine ever since.

Whether you love it or hate it, medication is an important part of our lives. Some of us manage on just a few while some of us have huge cocktails that keep our pharmacies running. Whatever you’re on just remember, you’ve got this. And if you’re cocktail isn’t working for you, make sure that you let your doctor know, always advocate for yourself.

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